Parenting is a school one never graduates from, and this does not mean carry-overs or failures, it just means we learn new things from each activity with our children. But here in this article, the knowledge will be brought to you on a platter. Here are some words that should not be uttered to your kids;
Doing this was easy for me when I was your age: This statement can be the beginning of self-doubt in our children. We might indeed have possessed some skills when we were younger, and we want it passed on to our children, but statements like this will only make them feel bad about themselves.
Try being like your siblings: We all want our children to turn out fine, but the comparison is not the right way to foster growth and love among siblings. All it does is cause a rift and an unhealthy relationship.
“What’s wrong with you?”: This phrase can be right, but it can also be wrong on so many levels; the difference is in the tone. When correcting our children, the sound we use in correcting them makes the difference, and some words are better said with a cool tone.
Hurry up: Let’s say your kids want to knot the lace of her sneakers, but you might just be running late if it takes longer than usual, which it might. At this moment you might be tempted to use the phrase “hurry up” but why not look for something more fun to say like “let’s get this done”?
“Why couldn’t you badge an A?”: Since your children have not asked why you are not the wealthiest parent, cut them some slack and look for better ways to encourage them in getting better grades.
We can’t afford that: This is a default response to a child requesting for latest things, but it can also be passing the wrong message to the child. It can say a lot about you not being able to control your finances.
Do not talk to strangers: As a kid, I was told this severally but trust me; it almost never works. A more detailed explanation will be a better way to train them not to involve themselves with strangers. And by strangers, we mean a person walking up to them to offer them a ride, or chocolate. Because like it or not, police officers are also strangers.
My house, my rules: True, you are the one in charge, and sometimes the kids need a reminder. But this statement is an easy way of shutting down communication between you and the children. A good reason should be given when you do not agree with their behaviour.
I am busy right now: Truly we might be too busy to be playing ball with your son at the moment when he wants to, but the message passed across when this statement is made “what I am doing is more important than you”. Which, of course, is not what we meant, but then our kids can’t read our minds.
Can’t you do anything right?”: Our children will do something wrong they will do a lot of things wrong, and this will get us upset. But as parents, we have to learn to tame our tongues to correcting the particular issue and not generalizing.